Mad World
by jules456
Summary: There's nothing to describe this story... It was just something that I had to write, it's a oneshot, character death. Anyone who is anyone read this. I would really appreciate your feedback. But you have to read EVERYWORD...


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Hey all. I kind of felt like I had to write this story. Something inside of me just told me to… A kid from my school recently died in a car accident and it got me thinking about stuff. This is my first one shot, but it was worth it. Be sure to read all of the words, especially the lyrics… read every word… The song that this is to is _"Mad World" _**by Gary Jules. PLEASE REVIEW**

Mad World

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Ryan's POV:

_ ****_

All around me are familiar faces,   
Worn out places, worn out faces,   
Bright and early for the daily races,   
Going no where, going no where.

I can't believe that she's gone… I should have known, I should have told somebody that Marissa was drinking again… I should have let her know how much I loved her. I still do. She changed my life. When things like this happen it feels like we're living for nothing, living for nobody.

Ryan wiped a tear from his eye as he approached the open casket. He knelt down to the side and spoke softly so that only Marissa could hear, all of the way his voice cracking and quivering through the tears.

"Why'd you do this baby? I love you. I you had so much to live for. These years are hard for everyone, but it gets better Marissa it really does. Look at Sandy and what he came from, he made it! We've all got so much life left to live, I just wish that you were living it with us… I know," He stuttered, "I know that I hurt you when I left you, but I thought that I had to help Teresa. The baby is mine, she was born two days ago, a couple of minutes before I found out about you… Her name is Marissa. Teresa left us, she couldn't handle the pressure. I look at her, and I don't see Teresa, I see you. She has your eyes, big, blue, sullen. Is that even possible? I look at her and see a child of us. Gosh I don't even know what I'm saying… I can always sum it up in a sentence or a look but, Marissa you are the love of my life. You accepted me for me. YOU SAVED ME, …. I just wish that I could have done the same for you. I could have been the pill, I could have been the bottle, I could have been the one that you turned to. You're my soul mate, even now. I don't think that there are two people more meant for each other… I'm here for you. I love you."

**__**

Summers POV:

The tears are filling up their glasses,   
No expression, no expression.   
Hang my head i wana drown my sorrow,   
No tomorrow, no tomorrow.

How can she be gone? Fuck… she is my best friend. I can't live without her! Why wasn't I there? I could have helped her? No, I was too busy moping around about Cohen.

Fuck… I can't believe that she's gone… Coop, I can't handle this. If you're gone what is the point of me being here?

Summer walked up to the casket when Ryan took his leave. She knelt down unsure of what to say… She looked upon her best friends body… it didn't look like her. This was not Coop.

"Coop," Summer began sobbing, "I just don't know how I can go on without you… You're my best friend. God I have screwed you over time and time again but you are always there for me. You're my sister. You're my only family… I need you Coop! I need you! Fuck, I cannot be doing this right now, I shouldn't have to be. You're not dead. You can't be dead. You're alive, you're alive because you love me and you are my best friend. We made a pact, we were like eight at the time, where one of us goes the other will too. I guess that I am on my way…Oh my god…" Summer said, her voice cracking as she covered her mouth with both hands and ran away from the casket, eyes so blurry that she could not see.

Seth's POV:

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And i find it kinda funny,   
I find it kinda sad,   
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had,   
I find it hard to tell you,   
I find it hard to take,   
When people run in circles its a very very   
Mad world, mad world.

Seth watched as Summer ran away. He considered chasing her but decided that she needed to be alone. He knelt down at the casket where Ryan and Summer had formally.

"I blamed you… I blamed you for Ryan leaving and it wasn't fair. I don't understand why this happened… Marissa you are 17 years old. You will live on with us forever, because next year to us you're gonna be 18, and the year after that 19, and the year after that 20. One day we will have kids, well Ryan got an early start but anyway, our kids are going to know about their aunt Marissa, they are going to know that you loved them. By doing what you did you tried to end your life, but you didn't, you'll always live on Cooper." Seth said, now in tears after having held it together so long. "I'll see you later." Was all that Seth could manage to say as he gently kissed her coffin.

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Jimmy's POV:

Children waiting for the day they feel good,   
Happy birthday, happy birthday.   
And i feel the way that every child should,   
Sit and listen, sit and listen.

Jimmy looked the worst off by far. His eyes were rimmed with red, always on the verge of threatening to spill. What happened to his baby girl, he thought as he knelt at her coffin.

"Hey pumpkin." He said as he stroked her hair. "I remember how stubborn you were, … so independent, you were six, and you really wanted to learn how to ride a bike without training wheels. I tried to help you, but you refused, so I sat on the porch and watched. You eventually got it right. And you were so proud, and I was proud of you. I still am, you're my baby girl, you always will be. Mommy would get upset if we were going out and there were scrapes on your knees, but it didn't matter to us, we were a team pumpkin. When I saw you riding this time you were riding away from me lost… I thought you would figure it out like you aways did, so I sat on the sidelines and waited… I waited for you to get it right. You needed my help and I didn't do anything. You needed me, you were a 17 year old girl on the verge of womanhood, I still say you as the six year old giving me a toothless smile as you rode along. Maybe I should have put your training wheels back on." Jimmy said stoking his daughters face, kissing her head as he stood up and walked back to his seat. "I love you baby."

**__**

Marissa's POV:

Went to school and i was very nervous   
No one knew me, no one knew me.   
Hello teacher tell me whats my lesson,   
Look right through me look right through me.

Marissa walked down the isle of the church, looking a people, crying faces, red eyes… they were all there because of her. They were there for her. As the priest prayed she knelt before her own casket.

"What did I do to myself?" She asked looking at her body. "It was my last string, my last straw. I don't think that I exactly feel dead, I never really felt alive. I tried, I did… but maybe this wasn't the answer, it was said and done. I am just sorry that so many people had to get hurt. For the first time though I can feel my hart, see the real picture through my once blurred eyes. For the first time I can feel my soul. Daddy, I'm sorry, I know that you wanted more for me, and I did too. You loved me like nobody else did, and I just want you to know that you saved me so many times before. Daddy… I love you, that is why I want your mourning to be short. I want you to find happiness. Hailey's a nice girl. I've been watching her from up here. Seth, I don't blame you. I'm sorry that we ended on such bad terms, but remember the good times. The days that we all spent on the beach, or playing grad theft auto on your couch. I just regret that one of my best friends lived next door to me and I didn't know it. Sum, oh god Sum, you have to have been the hardest to let go of. We went through everything together. Our first periods, loosing the V- Card," she smiled to herself. You will always be my best friend, but I pray that you will find another because times are going to be hard. I'm sorry that I had to do this but Sum, PLEASE forget the promise that we made, don't join me, please. Ryan…" She looked across the church at him and smiled. "I love you… I never saw a kid from the wrong side of the tracks, I saw a kid that was different and that was okay. I saw a kid who didn't conform to polo shirts and water polo. I saw a kid that loved me for all of my faults. That risked his future to rescue me from the physc ward, or care for me on those long drunken nights. The guy that took be as is… I see my soul mate. You're daughter, wow, she's beautiful. You're right, she is a little bit of us, maybe I had some strings pulled up here." Marissa said looking at Ryan winking although she knew that she could not see him. "Take care of her. Love her. I know that you will."

Ryan then felt a soft kiss on his cheek, he turned around and nobody was there. Jimmy felt a soft hand on his cheek and heard a faint whisper that said _"Daddy, I'm okay". _Summer felt arms gently wrap around her from behind, she smelled Marissa's shampoo… Seth felt a hand gently squeeze his shoulder and then a light kiss on the cheek… Although nobody said so, they all knew that it was Marissa. She had come to them.

Summer sat then with her jaw clenched.

**__**

And I find it kinda funny,

Ryan sat that night in the pools house which was turned into a nursery as well for Marissa. He held his infant in his arms, her big blue-green eyes stared up at him… He was going to be okay. Right?

He glanced at a picture of he and Marissa lying on that exact spot sleeping… Seth had taken it one morning without them knowing. His arm was wrapped around her and her head laid on his strong chest. They both looked so peaceful… so peaceful… Ryan went to his bathroom and looked in the mirror.

"I have to be with her." He said grabbing a bottle of pills

**_I find it kinda sad,_**

Seth sat on his bed tossing Captain oats up and down. He wasn't as comforting as he used to be. If only she were still here, they would be walking around the pier right then, Ryan's arms around Marissa, pushing little Marissa's stroller infront of himself, the two sharing an ice cream cone… and he and Summer would be walking next to them, Summer and Marissa would exchange glances every time that one of their boyfriends would do something stupid. Seth sat on his window sill, it would be so easy to just jump, … besides it was his fault

It was just all so surreal

**_The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had,_**

Jimmy sat alone on his bed, a bottle of hard liquor next to him one side and Hailey on the other. His baby was gone. Marissa… He half expected to she he again as a little girl running into his room in a nightgown dragging her teddy bear behind her…Back in those days he still had control.

Jimmy pulled the gun that he always had for protection under his bed, and ran his fingers on the cold metal. He had failed his daughter

**_I find it hard to tell you,_**

Summer sat on the beach, an empty bottle of vodka lying in her hand, she had used it to wash down some of her stepmothers pills… and now she was lying, a picture of she and Marissa when they had dressed up as hookers back in middle school. And another, more innocent one, their arms wrapped tightly around on another's neck. They were on the beach… Summer remember it had been the most beautiful day… ever

**_I find it hard to take,_**

Marissa watched over them. This is not what she had wanted, this pain for everyone. But what is willed will be done, and now she was just waiting to be joined. Her back faced heavens gate, she was afraid to see who it was… she heard a soft voice from behind her…

"Coop…"

**_That people run in circles it a very very,   
Mad world, Mad world, Mad world_**


End file.
